What We Mean When We Say “Community”

Every January, the same emails land in my inbox. New year, new you, join now, lock in the deal, become part of our community. On and on.

It’s especially loud in January in fitness and wellness. The language is always generous, welcoming, aspirational, a little earnest. Hey, you! You’re not just signing up for equipment or classes. You’re joining something bigger: a community.

And sometimes that’s true. But often, it’s just a membership with better copy.

That disconnect is what’s been sitting with me lately. The word community gets used constantly, but rarely carefully. In a landscape crowded with jargon, it’s become shorthand for access, perks, or proximity. But real community—actual community—is rarer than that.

Because community isn’t just about being welcomed in. It only works when people aren’t just consuming what’s been built for them, but contributing to it, and when that contribution is genuinely valued.

I was reminded of this recently in a place I didn’t expect: a credit card email.

Buried deep in a glossy message from American Express—the usual parade of travel perks and exclusive access—was a small section inviting cardmembers to mentor a student through college and early career decisions.

What struck me wasn’t the program itself, but the framing. It wasn’t positioned as charity or an add-on. It was presented as a perk in and of itself, as a part of what it means to belong. As if being a member wasn’t only about what you receive, but what you’re trusted to give.

It was easy to miss, and maybe most people did. But it felt meaningful because it quietly shifted the definition of value from benefits to participation. 

That’s the thing we often get wrong when we talk about community. We focus so much on the outward-facing facilitation—events, platforms, programming—that we forget the other half of the equation. Community isn’t something you deliver to people. It’s something you build with them.

And that requires intention. It requires making space not just for attendance, but for contribution. It requires signaling that people’s presence changes the shape of the room.

The strongest communities I know don’t have the most perks. They make it easy to show up, and clear that showing up counts. So maybe the work ahead isn’t to use the word community more, but to use it more precisely. To be honest about what we’re offering, and what we’re asking in return.

If we’re going to talk about community, let’s be precise. Let’s look beyond access and start measuring value in how people are seen, supported, and empowered to give back.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on all this – schedule a call with us!